I was supposed to go hiking this morning. And I really didnt want to. I tried so hard to get out of it. Then my dad calls and cancels. Is it wrong that I am slightly angry with him? Like I totally understand why he cancelled, he had to work last night. But I dont know, I feel angry. I guess its the fact that we are going with a group, and he still wants me to go even if he cant.
So the reason my dad and I go on hikes is because this summer we are going to Philmont Scout Reservation. We go hiking to prepare. He never gets to go. I never want to go. Hell, I really dont want to go on this trip at all. I hate the people. I could have gone to Italy. But I got guilted into going on a trip a I defiently dont want to go on. But if I tell my dad this, he will just yell and scream at me and hate me even more. He hates me. He really does. And do you know why he hates me? Because Im gay.
So incase its not painfully obvious, I am gay. I love boys. Boys=Love. And my dad hates me for this. Let me give you the back story. Last summer I went to visit my cousin in Georgia. While down there I experimented with this boy. On my way home from GA, I messaged my dads girlfriend, who i am EXTREMLY close too, and told her that i think that i am deifently gay. Later that night my dad took my phone away and read these messages. He got pissed. Left the house and didnt tell me. Said I couldnt stay at his house, I had to stay with my Mom. He wouldnt talk to me for like a week. And then after that he was awkward. Now he makes VERY homophobic remarks ALL the time. Like when its just me and him.
But the thing is, Im not going to change for him. He thinks this is just a phase that I will pass through. Nope not really. Im here, and Im queer. Im loud and Im proud(:
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