Where were you..

Where were you?
When everything was falling apart.
Im falling apart.
Piece by piece.
No body cares.
Im here alone.
Why i havent blogged in a while?
Because when i have free time ive been crying about my life.
My life is in hell.
Im here alone breaking into 1,000,000 pieces.
And no one is willing to pick them up.
Im supposed to be supportive.
Im supposed to help people out.
But were is my shoulder to cry on.
I try to talking to certain people but they always make it seem like my problems dont matter.
That they are worse off.
I strated cutting again.
I toild my cousin tad.
He told me i was a pussy and to grow up.
I stgarted smoking again.
And i balled my self up in the corner of my bathroom today.
And smoked.
And cried.
My whole family was outside putting up lights on our bushes.
A "tradtional family activity."
And no one told me.
And when i went outside,
My sister started a argument with me.
My dad said nothing was wrong till i went outside and to go back inside,
And "be misreable like i always am."
This is the same man who when he found out i cut he said i was trying to be mello dramatic.
I hate my life.
Im tired of this.
I want to die.
But no one cares.
I could text everyone in my phone and say im going to kill my self.
And no one would care.
Why would they?
Im a piece of shit.
God i want to die.
My mother doesnt care.
She never says i love you too me.
The only time she does is when i cry cause she yells at me for nothing.
And she says you know i love you more then anything.
Which is a lie.
She doesnt love me at all.
And its okay.
I love her.
I love my father.
I love my sisters.
The only person who ever kind of got me was my cousin cody or my cousin tad.
Cody recently tried to get my girlfriend to send him nude pictures.
And tad doesnt get me.
im in my room alone.
My razor is in its spot.
Waiting for me.
The only thing to ever wait for me.
The only thing i have.
Cause i have other things.
But i dont matter to them.
God help me.
God help me make it through.
This week is thanks giving break.
This tuesday i have to drive to Georgia.
Put on a fake smile.
And pretend im okay.
When all of my realtives ask me "how are you?"
Ill lie and say "im great, you?"
Ill smile and move on.
Then ill want to go secretly smoke.
But i wont be able too.
Help me?