Welcome to My life.

Its my fault.
I did it.
I get punished for their mistakes.
I annoy they,
They hate me.
Thats what they tell me every day.
And i cry.
I cry real hard cause they dont know.
They dont know what happens next.
How i walk into my room.
Lock the doors.
Cry.
Cry.
And cry some more.
I cry about how they dont understand me.
I cry because they always blame me.
About how my life is based around theirs.
How im like a after thought to them.
I cry for all of the really small things...
That almost seem isignificant.
The things like buying everyone a pack of gum exceot me.
Or yelling at me for not letting her have my seat.
Or letting everyone else check their facebooks but i cant.
I cry for the big things.
Like always saying its my fault.
Or when i hear them talking baout me.
They dont think i hear, but i do.
They say im a baby.
A emontial reck.
That im a "mello-dramatic freak"for cutting.
I cry for my life.
And how no one seems to love me.
How i am so alone.
How people callme a fag.
How im accused of being homophobic.
How my teacher mistake my voice for a girls.
How i have the biggest secret in the world but i cant tell anyone.
But its okay.
Im fine.
I have my own way of dealing with the pain.
I pick up that razor.
I drag it across my hips.
Or my theighs.
Or even my arms.
And i watch the blood quickly filling.
Coming out.
I sit on the edge of my bed.
And think that its okay,
One day they'll see.
See the pain i go thru everyday.
See the hurt the put me thru.
Theyll say sorry.
Ill pretend to forgive them.
But i cant.
I never can.
Theyve ruined it.
It being my life.
Actually ill thank them.
Because now i know how to treat people.
And my children....
Theyll love me.
Ill love them.
Theyll never feel this pain.
That much i can promise you.