Where excellence happens

At school. Irritated. Bitches. I'm probably over reacting. But like when someone says something kinda mean I just shut down to them. In that mood.

Samuel Tumbleton

http://www.samueltumbleton.tumblr.com/
Soooo Got me a tumblr....But no worries Ill still blog here. Follow me and Ill follow back!

RchSpldBrt

I have this cousin, well call him TT. TT is the oldest of all our cousins, and we are good friends. But heres the thing. He is a brat. Like I know I grew up well off, but he grew up with legit money. Like rich, buy what he wants. And heres the thing is, he gets so angry when he doesnt get his way. Like he freaks out like hes 4 when hes 22. Lordy. Sorry needed a quick rant.

You were born to fly.

I had a thanksgiving dinner with my freinds tonight. It was so much fun. Like I feel so blessed to ave so many friends from the past, so many new friends, and knowing there are many more to come. Life has given me so much. The people who came are...
Ginaya-I am so glad to know her. She has been there to listen.
Gabby-The voice of reason
Khinaa-Ginayas sister
Tam-...
Quinton-...
Gina-My love
Imani-My babe
Taylor-Newest friend
Kait-The SWEETEST girl you will EVER meet.

So right before the school year started, my friend Tam said "Look at you Sam, you year is going to be hell." Well, this pissed me off, he said it cause he was madd. But what feels so good is the fact that i have proved him wrong. I have made great friends. Had so many experiences. Met so many new people. Him? He hasnt made many new friends. Hasnt done much. But i mean whatever. I have talked to soo may cute boys. Come out to my parents. Spent the night at new people houses. Its been a good year.

Up and Away to a Better Day

Things have gotter better. But things are still stressing me outt. Like I have been so stressed I dont feel like trying anymore. Like I just dont try to look cute in the morning. I just trudge along. My dad has me stressed the fuckk ouuuttt. School does too. But I know not long from now I will be good. I can be me.

I feel liberated.

I finnally came out to my parents within the past couple of weeks.
My dad flipped.
My mom was all power to the people.
Then she saw that article about the canadian boy who was gay and shot himself.
Now shes all...please dont die?
My dad was like come to my house.
Then was like eff you leave. And said he was going to break up with ruth because "her liberal ideas have gotten us no where. Its her fault im gay."
Then he wouldnt talk to me. Now he wants to go to a support group.
What. Ever.

Red Cup Affair

Last night I had a small bon fire at my house. I invited like 15 people, but the fairs in town so only 8 came. But it was SO much fun. It was all girls and me because no other guys could come. But we still had a freaking ball. We played never have I ever and we told stories. We sat around and had the most fun that i have had in a while. I became alot closer to some people. What made it nice was the fact that I was the only guy was there was no like hook up-cuddle pressure for anyone. Like we joked around. Told personal stories about drugs, hooking up, boyfriends, whos cute and whos not. Ate a wholllleeeee lot. But we had the best time. I really hope i get to do this again.

Pick me. Choose me. Love me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=st2jamNWcJM&feature=youtube_gdata_player

For starters go watch that video. Best Greys scene ever. Anyways that girl Erin I was friends with? Yeah that's done. Like she was trashy. And talked about me. And thought it was funny when people called me bgs( big gay sam) and then she write that on the board in class. Whatever.

Im country strong

Im done with people. Me and my dad get into it then he acts like nothing is wrong. My "best friends" treat me like shit. whatever.

Boys will be Boys. Sluts will be Sluts.

I have friends over. They are straight up ignoring me for my sister. Joy.

What to do when there's nothing to do.

With the best friend Tammy (:
Quinton's here too! We have been hanging out all day. I'm really glad were friends. Tam is probably the best friend anyone can ask for. Legit. Like he is always there for me. We fight like crazyy sometimes. But no Matter what he's here for me.

Garden of Eden

Went to that het together last night. Turns out it wasn't really a party as I thought, she had invited like 5 people over. But by the time Gabby and I got there 2 of the people had already left. It was a ton of fun. Kaitlin was there. She's super sweet. She's really nice, I feel like me and her are gonna be friends for a while. She reminds me of my old friend Livi. She's like mello like her. Gabby, the girl I brought, is super cool. Like she's really out there. She dresses her own way. She says exactly what she's thinking. The persons who's house we were at is Ginaya. She seems really cool, just quiet. I feel like she doesn't like me. But well see how that goes. Either way I had a ball last night.

Consuela

Going to a party tonight. No other paisley kids are invited. I'm really kinda excited, me and my friends are bringing orange chicken!

Watching Kaitlin Tumble

Made a Tumblrrrr. Im likingggg itttt. follow me? www.thingsidoandprobablyshouldnt.tumblr.com


I really like this boy at my school, but hes straighttt. Hes really cute abd i love his voice, like is voice is adorable. Can I have him for Christmas?
But there is this hispanic boy name David, hes a cutie. And i think hes gay.
But I think Richard likes him which would be a problem. I don't even know.

A life of lies and liberation

I feel like I can truly be me at parkland. There's no you have to be this. Do this, it's be your self. I love it. I have had so many adventures. Met so many people. Made so many freinds. I'm glad I came here.

LazeeSundazze

Joined tumblr today. I really confused on how it works. Whatever I'll figure it out. So my dad said something to Ruth about me being gay. He said he didn't want me to but it was whateva. Freaking out?

Everyone Nows

Thought I was ready for my parents to know, but since they found out without me telling them, I've been scared and upset. can't Handel this

Is there a brown eyed boy in my future?

School. School. School. School.
So this school year is a whole new ball game. Everyone is so diiferent. Like at my old school, everyone was the same...kinda? Like there wasnt a wide variety of people. Here, everyone has there own thing. Like, there is this one gay kid in my classs who wears like organic-african looking things all the time. Hes pretty nice, and kinda cute (: My plan for this year consists of not coming out/coming out. Like Im not going to yel to the high hevans hey guys Im gay! But if you ask me, yeah im going to tell you. I really want to meet someone this year. Like I am the kind of person who is good in relationships. I love having someone to love and care for but also having someone i know feels the same way. I need my prince charming. Applications are currently being accpeted.

Im making friends to say the least...

I staryed a new school last thursday. It a lot bigger. Kinda scary But hey! Im making friends! Well i wouldnt call the friends yet, more im getting to know people..

Im making friends to say the least...

I staryed a new school last thursday. It a lot bigger. Kinda scary But hey! Im making friends! Well i wouldnt call the friends yet, more im getting to know people..

I think I might be a Kennedy

Do yall watch Switched at Birth? It comes on ABC Family. I watch it everyweek, except the past two week when I have been watching Bad Girls Club: New Orleans (BEST show ever btw.) Anyways I was thinking that i kinda hope I was switched at birth. Besides the fact me and all my sisters are practically identical...I could be! I wish i was, get me away from this family. This life. Gah im pathetic...I am sitting here upset about everything. Read my last post? Its about a boy in GA who i ahve only texted...and sexted...and talked on the phone with...and had phone sex with...but non the less we have never met! Haha we got connected thru my cousin. And he is mad at me because he always calls me at inconvienent times and I cant anwser the phone. Now we are fighting..FML!

Im weak.

I want you. I dont know you. But you were great. We fought, you said things. But i texted you today and said sorry. Even though i didnt do a thing wrong.

Im done with December

Name Change! So i decided to change the name of my blog. The new name? Things I do and probably shouldnt. It was insipired by a bookim reading, Things we did and probably shoulnt have. I just needed a change. December Comes Last was from a depressing part of my life. And reminded me too much of the past. Since im starting at a new school next year, i figured I would make some changes. Does anyone even read this anymore? Or am i talking to a wall?

You irk me.

You are 42 years old and want to play immiture games? Sir, I am the king of games. Dont take my car away, then make sure i see you driving it around. Whatever, you are not the father i ever want to be for my kids. I am going to come out soon, any good "coming out" ideas?

Defintion Please

My mother is a word. A word I can not even put together. Like, i dont think there is a word to describe her.

So after the drinking ticket crazyness my sister and I get our phones taken away. Reid got hers back because she had babysitting jobs. But she texts everyone all the time. Even was talking to my mom about this boy she was texting. My dad took her phone away because she wasnt supposed to have it, and she is crying.

I am supposed to go to dinner with my closest friends because we wont see eachother all summer. My dad said i could. Mom said I couldnt. I explained to my mom that its fair because Reid had her phone. I got in trouble.

Whatever bitch. Im done.

I know my heart will never be the same...



Listen to the song above. I love it. I am getting a lyric of it tattooed on me when i come out to my dad offically. Im getting, "Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger." So anyways. At school I am very close to my civics teacher/debate coach. And Friday was his last day because he is moving to Nashville. On his last day, my teacher, a gay kid in my class and I were sitting in his room talking. And Mr. Whitmer came out as gay to me. The other kid already knew. This made me really upset. Not because i care thats hes gay, but because I feel like if i had known sooner, i would have had someone to talk to. I would have had a actual adult who knows what its like. I mean i have adults to talk to, but they are straight and dont know what its like. He does. Gah I really wish I would have known earlier.

So today my dad and I had this long talk about alot of shit. He talked I listened. Alot of bull shit about how he trys and i need to strat trying. He said is there anything you want to say, all i could think was how much I want to come out, but i didnt. I was scared.

Short and Sweet and to the Point

Its been a while guys, but i needed to post. My life has been topsy turvy latley. Thats why i havent been posting. But anyways, here we goooo,

Its funny how much i have changed in this last year. A year ago, i would have died if someone knew i was gay. Now im as open as a book. Everyone knows. Well, except my family and my scout troop. My dad kinda knows, he told his girlfriend he thinks its a phase. Fuck phases! Ive known this my whole life, just never told anyone. Like i love boys. Get over it.

Done for now, will blog later.

265

I have said too many times that I want to lose the weight.
Im doing it.

Take Bong hits and Laugh like Hell

I have made some new friends! You remember when i talked about going to the party and that guy saying i should come more? In that gorup of people there are these two girls, Annie and Livi. Annie is this cool girl who is really fiesty. While Livi is this down to earth girl who is super mellow. We talk about everything. Boys. Cutting. Life. Like she is so much like me. Today we went to starbucks and talked, Annie came too. They are great. Im glad i am finnaly making friends that dont go to Paisley.

So a week ago when we were with the crew, thats what imma gonna refer to that group at the party as, Reid, my sister, got a tattooo! Long story short, Livi got ahold of a tattoo gun and was giving people tattoos. And guess what...I got one!

Ay, Who wants to shotgun?

So have you ever had one of those nights that you thought couldnt get any worse, but then you feel amazing by the end of it? Night was one of those nights.

So this weekend was supposed to be "my weekend" as my sister put it. Because I am always DD and this was the weekend where i wasnt supposed to have to do it. So in the beginning of the night we all went out to dinner. I asked whats the plan for the night? They were "just going back to Anna's." That was a lie because I heard them on the phone talking about buying alcohol. Well we got into a big fight about that. So I get home, get into an argument with my mom because i am in a bad mood, and i get into bed. Welll like 20min later Reid comes home because she felt bad and came to get me. So we go to this kid named Justins house who I have met once but didnt talk to. There were all these people there that i knew who they were, but i was known as Reids' brother. Well after we chill for a while and weve been drinking, its time to go. As we are leaving we go to tell everyone bye. And the kid Justin was like is the first time theyve let you drink? I said yes. And he was like "New offical rule. Reid, if yall come to my house, Sam has to come. And he is not allowed to be DD, This kids is hysterical like Dan Cook." It made me feel good. I know its lame. But like, when you are only known as Reids brother, then you get to be the kid that they want invited, it makes you feel good.

Zebra Print and Pink Poka-Dots

I was supposed to go hiking this morning. And I really didnt want to. I tried so hard to get out of it. Then my dad calls and cancels. Is it wrong that I am slightly angry with him? Like I totally understand why he cancelled, he had to work last night. But I dont know, I feel angry. I guess its the fact that we are going with a group, and he still wants me to go even if he cant.

So the reason my dad and I go on hikes is because this summer we are going to Philmont Scout Reservation. We go hiking to prepare. He never gets to go. I never want to go. Hell, I really dont want to go on this trip at all. I hate the people. I could have gone to Italy. But I got guilted into going on a trip a I defiently dont want to go on. But if I tell my dad this, he will just yell and scream at me and hate me even more. He hates me. He really does. And do you know why he hates me? Because Im gay.

So incase its not painfully obvious, I am gay. I love boys. Boys=Love. And my dad hates me for this. Let me give you the back story. Last summer I went to visit my cousin in Georgia. While down there I experimented with this boy. On my way home from GA, I messaged my dads girlfriend, who i am EXTREMLY close too, and told her that i think that i am deifently gay. Later that night my dad took my phone away and read these messages. He got pissed. Left the house and didnt tell me. Said I couldnt stay at his house, I had to stay with my Mom. He wouldnt talk to me for like a week. And then after that he was awkward. Now he makes VERY homophobic remarks ALL the time. Like when its just me and him.

But the thing is, Im not going to change for him. He thinks this is just a phase that I will pass through. Nope not really. Im here, and Im queer. Im loud and Im proud(:

T is Amazing

Pardon the title, he asked me too(: Well this may sound lame, but today is me and my friends "one year anniversary." Last year on this day our school had this event called "Fine Arts Night." Me and this amazing girl named C started talking, which is odd because we have never really talked before that. Well that night I told her my secret, that Im gay. And let me tell you. Then, that was a big deal. Only three other people knew that. By me telling her this, it showed that I fully trusted her. I really did. And in the year too come, she has changed me. She has showed me that being me, is all that matters. By telling C this I also then became close to A. And A, is her own person. She is the smart and innocent. And she listens, to whatever you have to say. You can rant and rave about whatever you want. By becoming close to these two i then got even closer to G. G is my friend, my purity buddy, and my former love. We have dated, broken up (due to the fact that im gay.) She helps me out. She is hysterical. And then comes T. Since he will read this, Ill be nice. But honestly, he is great. His "swag is through the roof," as he puts it. But I love him. Hes great.

Bigger and Bigger

In need of a rant...so here we go...

I feel ugly all of the time. I am a fat. I have these nasty looking stretch marks on my stomach. So on my arms. And on my legs. I am 6 foot four and 250 pounds.I need to lose about 75pounds to be at a healthy weight. God why am i like this. I eat to much. I dont excersie enough. Not like it makes a differnce.
 Whenever i do diet and excersise i loose no weight. I wear either and XL or XXL. Size 42 pants. Thats bigger than my dads. Lord why am i this big. I get tired easy. I want to lose weight but i cant. I want to try but i cant.

Delta Works

It has been a pleasant week, except for the fact that my car is broken. You know how sometimes when your driving you have to go in reverse? Yeah my car decided it doesnt like doing that anymore.

Anyways, I know your probably tired of hearing about my lame love life but i need to rant. So basically last summer I was semi-talking to this boy, will call him B. Well B randomly stoped talking to me. Like i didnt hear from him for several months.Till the other day when he messaged me on Facebook. We have been talking, alittle each night because he is grounded and doesnt get much/if any computer time. But we arent talking like....flirty. Just regular. I am confused. Boys=Complicated.

Now on to a new subject....My friends. I know this is going to sound really lame, but i feel like my friends dont trust me/dont want to/dont tell me anything. Like honestly i let my heart out to these people. And when they talk about their lives when we are all together, they talk in codenames that i dont understand. But the others do. And they tell eachother everything while i am left guessing. Lordy. But im trying to ignore it, because i would prefer no more drama.

Well, im going to read my book, "I love you Phillip Morris."
You should read it.
You should also go watch the show "Rupauls Drag Race."

Pretty Little Liars

Wanted: Boyfriend.
Qualities Needed: Tall, dark handome, good kisser, lover, friendly, outgoing, smart.
Thanks(:

Gah i need some kind of love interest. Gay boys in NC are lacking. But i do have a quick story.
Me and my friend Jasmine used to go to Starbucks every Sunday to sit and talk. But we hadnt done it in like...Months. But yesterday we decided to go for it and go again. And it was a perfect day. No clouds. Sunny. 68 degrees. Well when we used to go to Starbucks, there was this gorgeous boy who worked there every Sunday. And i would casually flirt. And he sometimes would flirt back. So when me and jasmine went yesterday, i had to look good(: I was dressed down but still rocking it. Nice, vintage Tshirt. My Harvard sweat pants. And my rainbows. And after flirting for a moment, i got a piece of pound cake for freee. Yeah(:

Shout whenever, and Ill be there.

Tired of all of this. Did I talk about Kumar in my last blogs? If not here we go. We hooked up thru friends. Texted for a while. He seemed perfect/ We went to panera. Synopsis of the date? I was waiting for someone to yell "Your on disater date!" Damn. Anyways he tells me im perfect and what not. I break his little heart. I felt guilty but i mean damn. i need someone smart, and he was ditzy as helllll. Sorry needed a quick rant. Now he thinks i said no because i think he is a gold digger. what the helllllll? Anyways....Sorry this was a more pointless blog, but i needed a quick rant(:

Youve been punked!

I finnaly found a gay male in my town that is not taken and not too....flamboyunt. But needless to say if it seems perfect, somethings wrong. I want a smart guy i can talk with. He was ditzy, dumb, obnoxious, and rude. We went to eat and we saw someof my friends. I went and talked. He followed awkwardly then made a slight scene. We were eating and he ran out of drink, and so did I. He said do you want some more sweet tea? I was like yeah that would be great. He proceeds to say "Oh good, go get me some too." I mean damn. I was waiting for Ashton Kutcher to tell me i was being punked. I was waiting for MTV cameras telling me i was on disastor date. I mean damn. Now the child is obsessed with me. Texts and FB messages every other moment. "Hey.""Whats up.""You there?""What are you doing?" I mean hot damn. I knwo i am great (just kidding!) but i dont like clingy. I want somehting causal that might build. Patrick Dempsey, where are you and your lawn mower(:

Gillette

I did something bad. I cut. For the first time in a year. I cried. So hard. Really hard. Kill me now.

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Go somewhere with your life.

I hate you. Your my father ans I hate you.

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Just do it. Or not.

I bought a ring the other day. Which my family thought was odd because well...I don't really wear rings, or any accessory for that matter. They think I am just being weird, wearing a ring. But to me, this ring has a whole different meaning. It is my purity ring. On the inside it says "Lugar para Principe Azul." Which in Spanish means Waiting for Prince Charming. People tell me I'm weird for waiting till marriage. Why not? Sex is over rated. Sex is complicated. Sex messes things up. I know to many people who have messed up something in their life because of sex. Those three letters can mess you up. Pregnancy. STD's. Why do something with someone that can mess you up? And not to be cliche, but i want my first time to be special. I want to leave my wedding reception and go back to our hotel sweet. When i get there i want the whole place to be covered in rose petals. I want there to be champagne and chocolate. I want to be able to cuddle there and remember that night for the rest of my life. The night where i lose my virginity. The night i have sex with that one person, ill be with for the rest of my life.

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone....

I want a fairy tale romance.
I want to be swept off my feet.
Someone to throw rocks at my window.
Someone to seranade me.
I want John Cusak outside my window with a boom box.
I want Patrick Dempsey with a lawn mower.
I want to kiss in the rain.
I want someone to hang from a ferris wheel to ask me out.
Please..
Wheres my romance?
I neeed to blog more...but my laptop is broken : /

A lot of firsts

You drive me crazy.
They call me insane. You mock me because you think it makes you cool.
Your going to kill me.