I saw love in a hopless place.

Thanksgiving break came and went pretty fast, but not without a little excitment. Tuesday my sisters and I drove to Georgia. I dropped them off at my grandparents and was heading to my aunts, didnt see a stop sign, ran out into a four lane road, and BAM! My car is totaled. Gone. No more Stefani. But I am okay, bruised and sore, but okay.

Life has been busy as ever. School work, friend drama, and parent drama.

I feel like I am drifting from my best friends. Kait doesnt seem like she likes me anymore, acting annoyed when I call. Half of me is extremely upset. The other half is fine because she has been lying to me latley. We had a long talk oneday about how I would rather be told the truth about something then a bullshit excuse on something. Since then, I have got her in 4 different lies. I don't understand the purpose in it. I told her I wouldnt be mad if she told me the truth...So she lies. Why? Last night I called to see if she wanted to hangout and her sister said she was asleep. So I call my friend Gabs, her dad told me she was spending the night at Kaitlin's house. I know its little things that I shouldnt get mad at, but its the principle you know? What should I do? (Not a rhetorical question.)

Yesterday I went to JoAnns Fabric's for stuff for my eagle project. I saw a gay couple cuddling up in the scissiors section. They were completley normal, nothing special about them, they were semi-attractive but nothing special, and yet they made me so happy. It made me feel like I would be completley normal and okay when I grow up. I would be able to have a normal life  and love and be happy without trying to hide who I am.The poem below also gives me hope. Makes me sad, but gives me hope.

But then I remembered I have a conservative father who will never accept me for me. Then I remembered I dont give a damn what he thinks and one day I can do me and not care what he thinks.